I grew up in the East bay, in Martinez, so moving to the Silicon Valley was a step for me.  It was a huge transition because I had always called the East bay home, even going to Berkeley.  I graduated with a degree in sociology, and I was a reserve officer in Contra Costa County at the time, and I really wanted to hand-pick where I went.  I knew I wanted to pursue a career in law enforcement, so I asked for statistical data on all the local agencies.  I wanted to find out a little more about law enforcement in California, but also I wanted to find the right agency for me.  So I looked at things like size of the city, the number of specialized divisions, the opportunity for advancement, the diversity in the ranks and a few other things too.  Then I put all the eggs in one basket, and tested it against San Jose’s Police Department.  My grandmother had lived in San Jose and I had been down here to visit quite a bit, and I really liked the city and its makeup and what not.   More importantly, through my little study, I found out that the police department had a lot of opportunity, a lot of chances for advancement.  Then I applied, got hired, moved here in 1994 and have never left.  I’ve been very fortunate and very happy working in this police department and in this city.

I think this job has given me a bird’s eye view of the city, the best and the worst.  I have witnessed things in this job that shock me, given me a bird’s eye view of man’s inhumanity.    The violence that I’ve seen is something that is extremely unique, something that the average Silicon Valley worker may not see.  I see the best and the worst.  It’s not a one-sided perspective.  I’ve seen phenomenal things happen, groups coming together and unifying for a cause.  One that was incredibly rewarding was the breast cancer walk.  I participate on a collateral assignment as a bicycle police officer, and several times a year we participate in the Avon and Susan Komen breast cancer walks, wearing our police uniforms and riding beside these women and men that are walking for a cause.  To be around such powerful people fighting for a cause is incredible.  They’re very admirable.  And they look to me as someone donating time and supporting them, and they look up to us and treat us like rock stars.  There’s overwhelming support for the police force, and seeing the people in the community here tells me why I became an officer here.

At the same time, though, you go out and you experience these violent acts.  That’s the part I take home with me and I try to talk with my family and friends, and I try to deal with issues to not let them affect me.  Specifically, for me, what has traumatized me is the violence towards children.  That’s the tough part.  You know, I mean, I can almost understand, or at least accept, that gang members kill gang members.  We respond to shootings and we respond to stabbings.  We see the worst of the worst, but when it’s happening to children, it’s overwhelming.  An adult understands what has happened to them.  They get stabbed, and they understand what is wrong. It’s not good, but at least they know what happened. When a four year old or a three year old gets shot or gets stabbed, it’s unexplainable. It’s unbelievable even to me.  But that’s what I have to try to deal with.  It’s just part of that bird’s eye view.

Getting the real criminals off the streets, like those violent offenders and rapists and burglars who break in while you’re home, that’s a part of the reward.  The purpose isn’t always incarceration. It’s not about arresting someone for possession of an ounce of marijuana. When I worked in narcotics, it was about assistance.  Sometimes it was providing them resources for their addiction.  The repeat offenders, yeah, sometimes they needed to go to jail.  But the ultimate thanks isn’t getting those addicts off the street. It’s getting a letter written by that same person a year or two later saying thanks — saying it’s because of you that I’m alive.  I’ve booked people into jail, and then gotten a letter a year later just to say thanks.  You know, here I had booked someone, and you’d think they’d be upset, but they knew the big picture: that they needed to be off the streets. They often recognize that hey, you just saved my life.  That’s the reward.

I keep those letters in a binder and I read them every now and then.  It makes you feel like you’re doing something, like you’re not just throwing sand in the wind.  You’re making a difference.  I hang on to those things because that’s what keeps me going.  Another part of me is motivated because when I got out of college that’s what I wanted to do, was make a difference.  People are just made a certain way – it’s in my blood, you know?  That drive makes you who you are, and I’m proud to put on that uniform.  I get up and kiss my kids goodbye, kiss my wife goodbye, and then I come to work.